Advice Beyond Friends: Choosing a Guide

We need our friends and family. They form the pulse of our happiness by presenting a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold. In a world where 40% of American adults report feeling lonely, there is no question that a strong social network is essential to success, personal as well as professional. Friends help us find meaning, inspiration, and fulfillment. They support us. However, that doesn’t mean your friends are the best people to turn to for advice. Often, these people obstruct our clarity.

The journey to realize your full potential and uncover your personal definition is inevitably a journey of change, and change is scary. It is hard to embark upon the unknown and tackle new challenges. Newness always brings with it a greater possibility of failure than sameness. We all need a support network. We all need clarity. We need someone who believes in us, pushes us, and reminds us that failure is just another part of the growth process. We need people who listen deeply and with quiet wisdom, people who speak from the soul and inspire from the heart. Unfortunately, our friends and family often don’t fit the bill.

Embracing change
Change is scary, but it isn’t only scary for you. Change shifts relationships, uncovers shortcomings, and demands accommodation. Our friends and family can be even more afraid of our journey than we are. Though they might want the best for us, they are not in the ideal position to act as our guides. Your journey may unravel their insecurities, threaten their status quo or even bring up baggage that they haven’t had the courage to face. They are more likely to deliver anecdotes and one-size-fits all advise that doesn’t apply to your situation. They love you and they mean well, but it is difficult for them to be objective.

As much as every person is on their own journey, we need to respect that our friends and family are likely at a very different place than we are. You may not realize this, because typical conversations tend to revolve around daily life. Kids, spouses, schools, jobs, money, and that great new recipe Carol tried out on Friday tend to take the center stage in our daily conversations. Less often, we find ourselves discussing our dreams, challenges, frustrations, and vulnerabilities.

With so many distractions these days it’s easy to feel fragmented and confused and to reach for external distractions – social media, changing your job, joining another Meetup, shopping – to ease the discomfort of disconnection. What’s not easy is to shift from a lifetime of this pattern. Connection has to be a conscious choice. The good news? A qualified coach can help.

Choose a coach
A qualified coach listens deeply and without judgement. They are fully objective and full of support. They accept vulnerability with open arms and believe in the intrinsic knowledge and abilities of their clients. A qualified coach never preaches; instead, they help you to tap into your inner wisdom and see the things that you already know on a subconscious level.

As you use the objective ear of a mentor to help you reconnect with yourself and embrace your inner wisdom, you will recognize the distractions that disconnect us from ourselves and from each other and naturally put them into their proper place in your life. You will find your authentic voice and follow your one true path. A qualified coach will take the burden of mentorship off your friends and family, freeing your connections up for the things they’re meant for: love, companionship, and authentic joy.

Helping women follow their true path is the foundation of my work. If you’re ready to embark the journey of change and you want an objective ear to support you, I am currently accepting a handful of new clients in my intimate, one-on-one coaching program. To see if this form of coaching would be a good fit for you, visit this page to set up your 45-minute consultation call now.

Felicia Baucom
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