07 Jun Taking Risks To Be More Of Who You Really Are
Most of us are programmed to avoid risks at all costs. We like comfort. We like knowing what to expect. We like the warm and fuzzy feeling of security and certainty. Our culture convinces us that it’s the only way to get through life.
It’s also easy to believe that taking any sort of action that’s unusual or uncomfortable is equal to, say, standing in front of an audience and giving a talk in your underwear.
I’ve done some scary and risky things. That’s not one of them. But I’ve left jobs with nothing else lined up. I traveled to Europe twice by myself. And some might still say I haven’t really taken any risks.
After all, what could be riskier than diving out of an airplane or climbing a glacier-covered peak or accelerating a race car into a curve at the Indy 500?
But everyone’s perspective on risk is different. For one person it might be quitting a secure, well-paying job to go back to school. For another, it could be deciding to leave a marriage after 18 years or reporting that the company they work for is endangering the environment or people’s lives.
Though it may not appear so at first glance, psychological risks that summon us to put our personal values and beliefs on the line may ultimately feel more dangerous than those of physical derring-do. Yet these are the challenges that we are asked to face time and again if we are to continue to grow as individuals. Each time we take a risk that contributes to our personal growth or enhances our self-esteem or enriches our lives, we make the choice to stretch ourselves, knowing there are no guarantees and chancing possible failure.
Growth-producing risks generally fall into three categories.
These are the risks you take when you want to get ahead, learn something new or make a distant dream a reality. You take on the venture with hopes of enriching your life. Maybe you want to change careers, or take singing lessons, or learn to speak French. On one side of the risk is the person you are and, on the other, the person you want to become.
All commitment risks have emotional stakes whether you pledge yourself to a person or a relationship or to a cause, a career, or a value. According to Joseph Ilardo, author of Risk-Taking for Personal Growth, if you avoid making emotional commitments, you all but guarantee that your emotional growth will be stunted.
Communication risks fall into the category of self-disclosure. Anytime you tell someone how you really feel you’re taking the chance of self-disclosure. When you open up to others and reveal who you really are, how you feel and what you want and need, you make yourself vulnerable. It is impossible to be assertive without doing so.
All risks carry with them the possibility of failure. Often significant sacrifices must be made before any real benefits are realized. Routines may have to change; the familiar may have to be released. You may be rejected or humiliated. In the case of commitment to a value, personal safety may be in danger. Consider those who stand up for what they believe in or put their own health and well-being on the line in the name of a cause. Challenging yourself is often the key to personal growth and development.
Are you a risk-taker? Ask yourself the following questions:
- Does every decision involve endless debates with yourself?
- Do you accept less than what you should because you’re afraid to speak up?
- Do you have difficulty making emotional commitments to others?
- Do you make up excuses that stop you from taking advantage of opportunities for self-improvement?
- Does fear of disapproval keep you from doing what you’d really like to do?
A “yes” answer to these questions indicates a reluctance to take risks, which may mean you tend to play it safe and reject change.
Consider this: to fulfill your potential, to discover your real self and live an authentic life, you must take risks. And while security may appear to be the absence of change, the only genuine security lies in taking risks.
Is there something in your life that needs to change, but it feels too risky? Sometimes you need someone who can support you in making the changes you want to make. If that’s you, I’d love to talk to you! Schedule a complimentary call with me!